Monday, June 7, 2010

I've failed miserably

At my daily virtual toast. I shouldn't have started it before going to DC....

I had many ideas for toasts while I was gone and over the past week or so. Maybe now that I have a few days that I won't be totally overwhelmed at work I will sit down and write out some toasts.

Wait for them, they'll be worth it.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Virtual Toasts

This is a new endeavor I'm taking on - I'm going to try to make one "virtual toast" a day. To something, someone, whatever. It'll likely be on Twitter but I'd like to "log" them in this (and maybe eventually another) blog too.

I made my first virtual toast last night to what's probably most obvious, my friends:

My new daily aspiration - a daily #virtualtoast Today I toast my friends; old, new and those I have yet to meet. Cheers to you all.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Purpose, as in "Is her name Purpose?"

Avenue Q reference. Poignant.

The story I told previously had a poor ending. Sadly it was like one of those books that is a little torn and tattered around the edges and looks like it has been beaten up a little, but still in good shape waiting for its next reader. The first half or so is so good it sucks you in to the point that you don't want to (or can't) put it down. Then you get to the final chapter and you are left wondering what the hell you just read. Perhaps that's why I don't read many books. They're easier to admire from afar where you can't see inside of them and know just how lousy the writing really is.

Moving on, I'm going to have to have knee surgery but I am putting it off as long as possible. I can function pretty well when unexpected events come up, but I was not at all prepared for this and I am in no way prepared to be off work for an extended amount of time with a bum knee and on crutches. While it hurts to walk, and by the end of the day I can barely put any weight on it at all, it is still the better option at this point. Besides the fact that, apparently, my uterus is finally rebelling against me and going to need to be removed as well. Too bad I can't get a two for one option and have them done at the same time.

My registration and payment for MLA went out today. Hooray! I hope it is a good meeting. I'm excited to go catch up with everyone. Networking, you know? I'm hoping to find out who else will be going to Woods Hole in September. I only know one other person, so that leaves 28 more!

Beachwood tonight. Returns and purchases at Sephora. Maybe some shoes from somewhere else. Maybe.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

a story

once upon a time there was a young woman who had given up all hope.
she was generally a happy person, but didn't think she'd find someone to care about again.
she didn't really seem to mind feeling that way either
then one day an old friend reappeared in her life
the old friend had endured a lot of the same trials and tribulations that she did
because of this commonality she felt a special kind of bond with him. what she didn't initially realize was that her feelings were more than just an understanding and appreciation for his situation, but that it was more of a passion.
thought that he was bitter, but much less so than he had been early on in their relationship
the two of them spent a lot of time talking about life, and the things they've encountered along the way, but spent most of their time talking about the present, and what mattered right now, not yesterday and not tomorrow.
they realized the challenge in being able to do this and made efforts to support one another in keeping their thoughts focused.
along the way it would seem that our two central characters began to develop stronger feelings for one another and gave consideration to forming a more formal relationship
both felt a little uncertain about it, but they forged ahead anyhow. the young woman held a lot of optimism but knew that the young man was a little more apprehensive.
after more and more communication the two of them made plans to spend a weekend together and see how it would go.
after all, they had lots in common and lots they felt very differently about. it was sure to be an exciting time whether in collaboration or in discussion about differences.
the young man in our story make the long and boring trek to the young woman's home, carrying with him what might go down in history as the best gift ever.
upon his arrival, the young woman felt a great sense of elation. she couldn't believe he was actually there after all of the time that had passed between the two of them.
her very first thought upon seeing him was "wow, there he is. and he's amazingly handsome."
she could tell how nervous he was, but tried to be casual and let him feel at ease on his own terms. it took a while but it happened.
their first day together was low key and relaxing. it was sort of a "feeling out" day that went pretty well considering the two of them may or may not have ever met before. the young woman felt like she already knew him though. perhaps in another life...?
overall their time together was, at least in the young woman's eyes, a great success. she was the kind of person who rarely spends extended periods of time with anyone. the fact that she spent almost 3 solid days with him and hadn't tired of him once was a really big deal. this didn't happen to her.
they spent time together enjoying a scenic train ride, watching NASCAR and even professional wrestling. it was really a redneck's dream.
they fit together really well. their personalities clicked while remaining distinctly individual, their physical connection sent sparks into the atmosphere, and their appreciation for one another remained intact.
when it came time for them to part ways and return to their normal day to day lives, the young woman became very sad. she tried to not show him how much she was bothered, but because things that seem so good rarely work out for her, she was sad to see their time together end. while parting ways didn't mean an end to their relationship, she still felt a little part of herself go dormant.
the young man safely made the trek home and got back to his day to day routine, while the young woman did the same. she missed him before he'd even left her home, and continued to feel the sense of emptyness that he had filled up, though working helped keep her mind off of things.
the young woman remains optimistic that the relationship they forged will continue to develop. she's hopeful that the two of them can continue to grow together and work through life's struggles with the support of the other.
while the true ending of our story remains unwritten, our two young people will continue to face each day as it is given to them. their fate together remains unknown, but will hopefully continue to fill pages of a book with stories of happiness and struggles, but more happiness, that they were able to endure together.
the end.

it is a really long, drawn out way of saying that the young woman is completely enamoured with the young man and would like nothing more than to always be with him, needed to be a story so had to be drug out.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Just Breathe

I find myself saying this a lot lately. Also, I love Pearl Jam. I love beautiful songs, too.

I tried posting the video but the formatting was messed up and I was too lazy to figure out why, so...just go watch it yourself. And listen. Listen.

Pearl Jam - Just Breathe - Austin City Limits

Sunday, January 17, 2010

If you want to stay in control, you have to stay on top

Or something like that. When I catch the exact quote again I'll fix it.

So, I bought a house. Wheee. It is mostly awesome. I'm still adjusting to expenses and stuff but it is mostly awesome. Oh, and it is mine. That's the real bonus.

Rob is back. That makes me happy. Very happy. Also, I don't intend to let him go again. ;)

Bret Hart is "back" too, back in the WWE world anyhow. I LOVE Bret Hart so no matter how temporary or how horrible the drama, I will be thoroughly engrossed in wrestling again. Yes, I am a woman in her mid-thirties. No, I don't care. I love Bret Hart. I'm sad to learn that he has a girlfriend...a 27 year old hussy apparently. Obviously he needs to be reminded of my existence. Last I knew he was still married. Hmph.

This is my last week of freedom for a while because I'll be supervising a practicum student for probably close to 8 weeks at work starting next Monday. I hope I survive. I'm already thinking that I made a mistake agreeing to do it. Let's hope not.

Random: I love Hugh Jackman. I do not love Christian Bale. Yes, I'm watching The Prestige. I love Nikola Tesla too, but that's only slightly relevant here. Great movie though, I really like it.

Well I had a lot of ideas when I decided to write this but they are all totally gone and in usual Heather fashion I've failed miserably.

Whatever, I'll try again tomorrow.

Monday, August 31, 2009


I'm in the market to buy a house. Sorta. Maybe. I think.

For several years I've been "looking" and thought I found the perfect place a time or two. For one reason or another they didn't work out and I'd give up and take a break and then start over.

So I've started over. Entirely. That is, I have elected to work with a new Realtor and loan officer. Fresh start. And hopefully get better guidance than I have in the past.

I'm going to see a few places tonight and while I'm still not 100% certain I want to buy I'm hopeful that this will be a better experience for me than it has in the past. And with that, if I do find something I want to buy, that I'll have the representation and support that comes along with working with a good Realtor.

Stay tuned for updates.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


First, this:

So appropriate! I love it!!

In other therapy news, I've started writing haiku. Not because I particularly enjoy haiku (I don't) and not because I particularly enjoy poetry (I don't), but rather because it is amazingly therapeutic. No really. Hear me out.

I frequently find myself wanting to choke someone. Or slap the hell out of them. Or inflict some other sort of bodily harm. Since society tends to frown on doing these sorts of things I've had to find other outlets for my frustrations. For a long time the solution was to just sit and let it fester. After finally realizing how toxic it is to sit around pissed all the time (figuratively, of course), I just started to let things roll off my back. Unless whatever I was pissed about was going to directly affect me, I didn't let it bother me. Er, at least not in the same way I would have before.

Enter Michelle, a long-time online friend, but someone who I'm pretty sure could walk into my living room and kick her shoes off and feel like we've known each other all our lives. She's amazingly smart, very witty, and to top it off she's creative. Creativity goes a long way with me. I have pretty much zero, so when I meet someone who is really with it, and who is super cool to boot, well...let's just say it makes me happy.

One day Michelle was at work and not having the best day ever. She works in a group home and that alone is an amazing thing on so many levels. One day she Twittered that, in place of slapping the hell out of someone (in a meeting I think), she was instead writing haiku about them. Genius! Sheer genius!

I find writing haiku to be extremely challenging when I'm in a normal (not pissed) state of mind. When I'm pissed and my brain is on fire it is often difficult to put a thought together, let alone try to write poetry. Further, haiku follows a challenging structure in that you only have a total of 17 syllables to work with in the entire piece. If you want to be strict about it and add the seasonal reference AND the caesura, well, that just adds more restriction to what you can do.

I took Michelle's idea and worked it into my own setting. Now when I get pissed you can bet I'm working on a poem either in my brain or that I've already scratched a few ideas out.

The therapeutic effect comes in to play at this point. As I said earlier, when I'm mad or upset it is hard for me to put a single thought together some times. Now when I sit down to compose a piece of poetry I am literally forcing myself to put thoughts together, and to have them make sense. And of course since the poetry of choice is haiku, they not only have to make sense (at least to me) but they also have to be structured! Writing haiku has turned into an amazing mental exercise for me and a total win-win situation.

In the act of forcing myself to put thoughts together I am actually doing a type of meditation. That in and of itself is calming. Taking those thoughts and working them into a structure is an amazing challenge. I have no choice but to find a way to say what I want in a very limited form. That is very, very hard. Are you seeing the benefits yet?

A. Calming
B. Mental exercise
C. Having a finished product to be proud of though probably not one to publish.

I <3 therapy haiku and I <3 Michelle for sharing such an awesome idea.

Finally, here's an example of one of my finer pieces. It ignores the caesura and season but it gets the point across. Enjoy.

i feel betrayed now
being deceitful is rude
my respect is gone

Monday, August 3, 2009

My badass shark tattoo

Inked at Tattoolicious in Honolulu, Hawaii. Artist Dan Rhodes.

Love it.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Guest Blogger for a Day

See my guest blogger appearance over on Claire De Lunacy's blog.

I'll write more here on my own space soon, hopefully by tomorrow!